For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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