eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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