I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
