He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
