Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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