why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
