Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
