is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
