He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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