I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
