i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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