And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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