Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
