That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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