The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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