It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
