But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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