Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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