I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just had sex on a roof
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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