the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
