so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
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You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
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I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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