I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize