You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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