Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
