You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
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Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
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I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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