The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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