As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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