First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Floor bacon is actually really good
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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