I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Boobs speak an international language.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
