Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
