What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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