i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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