Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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