Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
