To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
