it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
