You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
