It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
