I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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