Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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