well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
