Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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