I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize