My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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