you have to choose: penises or morals?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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