The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
