i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I could fuck to npr.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...