How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
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I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.