Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.