I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.