Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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