My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
