so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
