The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
