Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
