See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
