you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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