Where is the hickey?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
