I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
